


Nothing Else Matters

by RavenAurelieChoiseau



Series: Spadeliano: A Journey [10]
Category: Suburra - La Serie | Suburra: Blood on Rome (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Comfort, Declarations Of Love, Feelings, Feelings Realization, Feelz, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Grinding, Happy Ending, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I might have been drunk when I wrote part of this, Implied Sexual Content, Light Angst, Love is beautiful and not toxic, M/M, Male Friendship, Non-Canon Relationship, Not Canon Compliant, One True Pairing, Other tags I can't mention cuz.... cuz.... but nothing bad, Rutting, Sacrifice, Secrets, Self-Indulgent, Self-Sacrifice, Skin Hunger, Some harm due to an accident, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Touching, True Love, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, alternative universe, daje, gestures of love, one true love, these bois will be the end of me, who doesn't love love?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-05
Updated: 2019-06-05
Packaged: 2020-04-08 12:05:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19106755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenAurelieChoiseau/pseuds/RavenAurelieChoiseau
Summary: How far will Aureliano go for love?He has a secret he can no longer keep... not if he wants to be with Spadino.





	Nothing Else Matters

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AapeliStorm (thelightinthedarkness)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelightinthedarkness/gifts).



> This is not only non-canon, as usual, but it's also AU. So if AU isn't your jam please don't read on. But if you do that'd be super cool because AU can be fun, too, and this story is kinda out there. No worries either way. Do you no matter what. :) Namaste!  
> 

Part One: _  
  
Look toward the light  
__Someone’s marching through the fire to find you  
__To find you_

-

Aureliano knows his breed. His kind.  
The makers of bad decisions.  
He carried the burden of his predecessors with the gait of a man whose pockets were weighed down with stones, trudging through an existence so hollow not even the brightest light could penetrate his darkest corners.

And then he met Alberto.

Honestly, he couldn’t escape this destiny if he tried. Nor would he want to. Aureliano made his best attempt to resist, and for a while it worked.  
But fate is fate. It has a funny way of always catching up with you.

Hang a painting on a rusty nail… won’t it strain until eventually it gives, the frame crashing to the ground in a fury of glass and wooden shards?  
Iron isn’t weak but it’s not as strong as the human spirit.  
  
That’s what happened when he met Alberto. A storm of emotions raged within him, his very foundation torn asunder. The pillars of who he was, however, were left standing.  

The more Aureliano gazed upon that quiet, oval face, with its dark and delicate features, the more his heart softened. When he got to know the man behind the mask… well, by then he was irrevocably gone for him.

-

Aureliano’s been staring at nothing for an overlong moment. He realizes this when Raffa’s booming voice startles him into attention.

“Allora? Hai deciso?” _So? Have you decided?_

His hands twist together in his lap, gaze catching on his friend’s deep wise eyes before landing on his own feet. He draws his head under his chin. A nearly imperceptible nod follows.

“Sì, ho deciso.” _Yeah, I have.  
_His voice is deliberately casual, dipped ever so lightly in nervous strain.

“Ho capito.” _I see._ Raffa’s smooth forehead wrinkles. He studies Aureliano from under heavy lashes and an even heavier heart. A brother’s heart.   
Aureliano hates to see him so marred with worry. Honestly, any more delicacy would have made Raffa too beautiful for a man, so this apprehension doesn’t suit him.  
I don’t want to cause this, Aureliano thinks.

“Ascolta…” _Listen_ … He’s being wrung from the inside out.

Raffa extends a pitcher and pours two waters. Silent.  
Waiting.  
Offers one to Aureliano, eyebrow and glass raised in unison. Aureliano shakes his head and Raffa chuckles, baring his palm in apology.  
“Scusa, dimenticavo.” _Sorry, I forgot_.  
“Figurate.” _No worries.  
_“Aureliano, quindi sei sicuro?”   _So you’re sure?_  
There is no judgment behind the question. Just concern. Raffa’s known Aureliano his whole life and he himself went through all this a long time ago.

Clutching at the hem of his t-shirt, Aureliano rubs the soft material between the pads of his fingers as if contemplating its makeup.  
Red.  
Cotton.  
Soft.  
It suddenly feels like an alien skin to him. Something not belonging. Heavier than it should be.  
A death shroud? Premonition?

“Sì, so’ sicuro.” _Yeah, I’m sure._ His nod forces the thought away, his digits release the fabric back into his lap with some disgust.  
“Allora è fatta. Quando?” _Then it’s settled. When?  
_“Appena vado via da qui.” _As soon as I leave here._

Deep inside his very being, Aureliano doesn’t believe this is the wrong choice.  
Alberto changed his existence. Aureliano loves him. Wants to be with him. What’s inherently flawed in that?

Screw it. He’s agonized enough. What’s right is right in love and war. Isn’t that the saying?

“Non ho altra scelta comunque.” _Anyway, I don’t have any another choice.  
_A panicked expression flitters across Aureliano’s handsome features. Just briefly, but it’s enough so that Raffa catches it.  
“Tu lo ami.” _You love him.  
_There’s no hesitation in his reply. “Da mori’. Darei letteralmente ‘a vita mia pe’ lui.”  
_To death. I’d literally die for him._

Raffa smiles warmly. A distant memory seeps into his reality, similar webs of hope and exhilarating yearning once spun within his own heart.    
“Beh, credo che tu lo stia già facendo, Aureliano. Questa scelta è come una condanna a morte, se vogliamo vedere. Ma io ti capisco. Ci sono passato. Diventa più facile, sai? E’ solo l’inizio che… “  
_I think that’s exactly what you’re already doing, Aureliano. This choice is almost like a death sentence if we look close enough. But I get it. I’ve been there. It gets easier, you know? It’s just the beginning that…_

Eyes like balls of shattered blue marble bend their gaze.  
“ ’O so.” _I know.  
_Raffa cuts him off, perhaps a bit too sharply. He needs to prepare him for what’s next.

“No Aureliano. Non lo sai ancora. Vedere i tuoi fratelli rifiutarti per questa scelta, sapere che non li vedrai mai più… è un dolore infernale. Ma sto seduto qui oggi per dirti che ne vale la pena. Che ce la farai. Anzi… _ce la farete._ Se c’è anche una remota possibilità di trovare l’amore della tua vita, prendila e scappa. Non ti voltare.”  
_No Aureliano. You don’t know yet. Seeing your brothers refuse you for this choice, knowing you’ll never see them again…  it’s a hellish pain. But I’m sitting here today telling you it’s worth it. You’ll make it. Both of you. If you’ve got even one shot at true love, take it. Run. Never look back._

Aureliano knows well what this sacrifice will cost. He’s seen others do it. Raffa, too.  
What the consequences will spell out for him won’t be pretty, but he doesn’t care. His only desire is to be with Spadino.  
Defying what you know to throw yourself into the uncharted for love?  
It’s been happening since the dawn of time. Aureliano certainly didn’t invent this.

Raffa inches forward. The fingers of their right hands intertwine and Raffa’s warm, right palm closes over Aureliano’s. Instantly the younger’s shoulders relax and he exhales a deep, lung-deflating breath.  
“Non sarete soli, ricordatelo. Ci sono io. Ci sono gli altri. Siamo una famiglia.” _You won’t be alone, remember that. I’m here._ _There are the others. We’re a family._

With his chin he indicates a picture of himself and a bearded man, handsome. They’re both grinning widely.  
“E lo sai quanto vi vuole bene Flavio. Andrà tutto bene.”  
_And you know how much Flavio cares for you both. It’s going to be fine.  
_

Aureliano squares his shoulders, moves his bluebell gaze to blink up at the ceiling for a few silent moments.  
“Grazie, Raffa. N’sai che vor di’ pe’ me.” _Thanks Raffa. You don’t know what it means to me.  
_“Gli dirai tutta la verità? Sa chi sei? Cosa fai?” _Are you going to tell him truth? Does he know who you are? What you do?_

This has been a concern. Aureliano has struggled with what the repercussions might be. But the silver thread of human fate slowly tethering them together…winding round and round their existence… he has to believe it’s strong enough to withstand even _his truth_. They simply can’t start a new life together based on deceit.

“Nun vojo segreti. Vada come vada glielo dico.” _I don’t want any secrets. What happens, happens, but I’m telling him._

“Va bene. Allora in bocca al lupo, fratello. Ti direi di salutarmeli, ma sai che… ”  
_Okay. Then good luck, brother. I’d ask you to say hi to the others for me, but you know…_  
Raffa chuckles.

Finally a smile playing on his lips, Aureliano rises. Raffa joins him, standing nearly a head taller.    
Aureliano pats him on the shoulder, hands trailing down until they cup his defined biceps.  
“N’te preoccupa’. C’hai la vita tua mo. E… crepi ‘sto lupo.” _Don't worry. You have your life. And thanks._

Raffa shrugs, tilts his head to the side. A dark curl invades his vision and he blows it away with pursed lips.  “Ci ho fatto pace con ‘sta cosa, Aureliano.” _I made my peace with this, Aureliano.  
_He pulls Aureliano close, shuts his eyes and squeezes him tightly.  
“Mi raccomando, Aurelià. Sii forte,” _Stay strong, Aureliano,_ Raffa mutters.    
As they pull away, they kiss each other’s cheeks.  
“Se vedemo presto,” _I’ll see you soon,_ Aureliano manages. Waits until Raffa’s out of sight to tear up.

Part Two:

“Che, t’hanno menato?!”   _What, you get jumped?_

The guy at the counter leans over. His thick eyebrows meet in the middle in a crooked question mark. Eyeing Aureliano from toe to crown with probing eyes makes him feel even more uncomfortable.  Aureliano stands up straighter, despite everything hurting. Fuck, it’s like he got blind-sided by a truck.

“Diciamo, nun era gradita la mia dimissione.” _My resignation wasn’t appreciated, let’s say.  
_"Cazzo di lavoro fai?”  _What the fuck do you do_?  
Can this guy mind his own business? Aureliano clears his throat, rolls his neck from right to left until he hears a crack.  
“Sicurezza. Guardia de corpo.” _Security._ _Bodyguard_.  
  
He’s full of bruises and scratches. The corner of his lower lip is cut and slightly swollen.  
“Sti cazzi… che sei andato contro un tir?!“   _Fuck. You hit a truck?_

Aureliano ignores the question. Focuses his attention back to the task at hand.  
It doesn’t matter if he’s hurt, he muses. Bruises will fade. Cuts heal. What’s important is there’s a new sparkle to his sky eyes. There’s fresh hope in his heart and money in his pocket.

Aureliano is finally FREE. 

A few minutes pass, and while the guy in front of him sways from side to side, trying to figure him out (while fake people-watching on the street), Aureliano gathers the calm necessary to still the growing excitement within.  
Tomorrow. Tomorrow he’s going to finally see Spadino again.

“Allora?” _We ready?  
_Aureliano points in front of him with decision.  
“Questi.” _These._

The dude nods. “Bene.” _Great.  
_Aureliano smirks. He’s still a little shell-shocked, but to be honest this independence is beginning to grow on him.  
“ ‘Namo.” _Let’s go._

Part Three:  
  
Aureliano knocks. He’s all a jitter when he hears footsteps. He can see his reflection in the door, but it’s dark now and with the night come a million doubts. He examines his face. Wonders if he looks good enough. Maybe he should have changed into something different? Shaved? But this beard is growing in so nicely…  
  
Spadino all but runs over. He hasn’t seen him in a week. A WEEK. Even though he knows he shouldn’t feel this way, (mainly because the guy is older AND an employee)… he admits to himself he’s missed him.  
Of late there hadn’t been a day Aureliano hadn’t come by the house to check up on him and chat. Accompany him places. Sometimes he stayed for dinner. What bodyguard stays for dinner and then doesn’t eat a thing?!  
  
Why a young, wealthy businessman needed a bodyguard was beyond Alberto, but Aureliano had said he’d been sent by his associates and the man didn’t question it.  
Plus he was hot. _Really_   fucking hot. Darkish hair, brooding air. Two eyes that put the Caribbean to shame.  
And smart, charming, funny… one would say almost too good to be true?  
Alberto believes he fell for the guy pretty much as soon as he met him.  
  
So when Alberto lets Aureliano in, tempted to just run into his arms… his instinct makes him hesitate. And that’s when the scent hits him. Holy hell. MUSK.  
Alberto feels faint. It’s like they bottled sex! Did Aureliano change perfumes?!  
  
In the strong light inside his home, Spadino sees it as soon as he steps under the lamp. Aureliano is battered…bruised… and he’s got two huge wings tattooed on his neck. What the hell happened in the week they didn’t see each other?! (And can we talk about how sexy those wing tattoos are?!)  
  
“Aurelià!”  
His rushing heart… Aureliano grins and Alberto grins and then they stand there like two fools, facing each other with lingering looks.  
Spadino opens his skinny arms, and they embrace briefly, too afraid to let the hug last more than a few seconds (even if neither wants to let go).  
  
“Che t’è successo?!” _What happened?_ Alberto squints, bracelet jingling as he examines the damage. _  
_ “So’ caduto.” _I fell._  
“Da un ponte?” _From a bridge?_  
That's fair. Belly laughing, Aureliano drops into his usual place on the armchair. This is where they have their chats.  
“E’ ‘na lunga storia. Pe’ questo so’ qui.” _It’s a long story. This is why I’m here._  
“Vuoi da bere?” _Wanna drink?_   Spadino asks with a twirl of his gold-laden wrist.   
Drink. Yeah… he can finally drink. “Si. Quello che te fai va bene.” _Whatever you’re having._  
  
Spadino comes back with two tumblers of whiskey. Holds one out to Aureliano, who eyes it with measure. Knowing why he’s here, he quips “Fatte uno doppio, va _.” Make yourself a double._  
  
Back on the sofa a couple pours later, Alberto leans forward. What the hell is going on?  
“Che c’hai? Sembri strano. Che me devi dì?” _What’s wrong? You’re acting weird. What do you need to tell me?  
  
_Where does he start? How can he just come out and tell him? Christ!  
Aureliano rests the glass on the coffee table. Folds his hands in front of his face in a steeple and blinks.  
Alberto is so distracted by his lustful gaze that he doesn’t initially get it. It's just words...   
  
“Spadì… te devo dì ‘na cosa. Anzi, du cose. E mi darai del pazzo. Sono un... ” _Spadì, I have to tell you something. No… two things. And you’re going to tell me I’m crazy. I’m a ..._  
  
“Cosa?” _What?!_   He couldn’t have heard right. Spadino pales a moment. Did Aureliano say… ?  
“Sono...vojo di... ero un angelo, Spadì. Chiamato Sentinella.” _I am, I mean... I was an angel_. _Also called a Watcher.  
_Alberto blinks. Studies the glass. It's insane. It must be. Mainly because angels don't... they....  
But the more he thinks about it, the more the pieces fall together.  
Aureliano always came and went, sometimes almost as if disappearing into thin air. Alberto never saw him drink or eat. The man was always polite and possessed an interior calm...  
And now that he thinks about it, Spadino could never shake the feeling that'd he seen him before. As if he had known him all along.   
  
Yeah... Alberto must be losing his mind because he's actually not as freaked out as he thought he’d be.   
“Me vuoi dì che sei un angelo?” _You’re telling me you’re an angel?_ The tone isn't entirely incredulous.  _  
  
_Maybe this is useless, Aureliano thinks. How can he make him understand??  
_“_ Albè. So cose de te … che non po’ sapè nessuno. Perche’ io c’ero. Sono il tuo angelo custode _."  
Albè. I know things nobody knows about you. Because I was there. I was your guardian angel.  
_  
Alberto, with a scratchy voice, replies “Tipo?” _Like what?_  
He is a gypsy after all. They believe in all this shit. Is this any different than the idea of a strigoi in Romania? Or being afraid of the evil eye?  
  
Alberto feels like he’s tiptoeing on a line between belief and utter lunacy. But he's falling more towards faith.  
Aureliano thinks it’s a victory he hasn’t sent him screaming from the room yet.  
“Avevi 9 anni. Manfredi t’ha spinto, sei finito in ospedale ad Ostia col braccio rotto. Era la prima volta che me'ro manifestato con te. Te ho portato un gelato alla vaniglia quando sei rimasto da solo in stanza.” _You were 9. Manfredi pushed you, and you ended up in hospital with a broken arm. It was the first time I showed myself to you. I brought you a vanilla ice cream once you were alone in the room._

Alberto’s features slowly contort in shock. Fuck. He remembers that day! Who he thought at the time was a young doctor had come in and brought him ice cream. Sat with him. Then disappeared.  
Looking at Aureliano’s face… this…this was the man!  
“Me ricordo," He whispers. _I remember_. "Ma com’è che non sei invecchiato?!”  _How… how can you not have aged since then?”_  
  
Aureliano’s soft voice tries to steady Spadino’s racing heart. “T’ho detto. Ero un angelo.” I told you. I was an angel.   
“Passato? Eri? Non lo sei più? Che vor dì?”   _The past? You were? You’re not anymore? What does it mean?  
_  
Rags of tension start to pull at Aureliano’s temples. Shit. Spadino is strangely calm. Downs the glass of whiskey in one gulp.   
  
Aureliano sits up straight. A sudden shot of adrenaline makes him open his mouth without waiting for an invitation.  
“Te ricordi quando ho iniziato a venì qua 2 anni fa?” _Remember when I started coming here 2 years ago?  
_Spadino does. That was more or less when he was introduced to his new “bodyguard” and told he’d be protected from then on.  
“Se…” _Yeah…_  
  
The look Aureliano is giving him… fuck. It’s full of love and anguish.  
“2 anni fa. Me so’ innamorato de te. Ho iniziato a venì qua... non riuscivo a starte lontano." Two years ago I fell in love with you. I started coming here because I couldn't stay away from you.  
Aureliano's lashes shadow his cheeks. He's trying to read the man sitting in front of him in silent scrutiny. Alberto sits, eyes boring into Aureliano.   
  
"Settimana scorsa… sono caduto dalla grazia. Ho scelto de diventare umano… sperando che te… che te magari… magari m’amavi pure a me.”  _Last week, I fell from grace. I chose to become human … in the hopes that you… that maybe you… loved me too.  
_  
Holy shit. HOLY SHIT.   
Alberto sits back. Puts a sweaty hand against his forehead. Either this guy is batshit crazy or he’s telling the fucking truth which is even more…  
No one except his Mom and Manfredi knew about the accident. They'd paid the doctor in cash to put on the cast. He can remember the doctor in the room with him… and all the other strange signs that...  
He feels faint. Sucks in air in a gulp before biting into his lower lip.  
What doesn’t help is that Aureliano's instinct was correct. Spadino  _is_ in love with him.  
Fuck. He’s been gone for him for months now. A part of him is honestly elated... Aureliano's in love with him, too and if that isn't something to be...   
  
He needs to know. _Needs to_.  
Meanwhile Aureliano's knees tremble. He is trying not to show that he's dying inside.   
  
“Se stai dicendo la verità…. Aurelià… “  _If you’re telling the truth, Aurelià…_  
Aureliano dips his head. Pleads with a longing stare.  
“E’ tutto verò. Posso provarlo.” _It’s all true. I can prove it._

Cards on the table. Spadino is calling. Every neuron in him is firing and fuck… if any of this is true…FUCK.  
“Vojo vede’- Famme vede’ te prego.” _I want to see. Please show me._  
  
Aureliano doesn’t bat an eyelash. He was expecting this. He raises his arms like a child, and Alberto slowly approaches, peeling off his shirt. As soon as Aureliano is bare-chested, (and whoa!), Alberto gasps. Covering his mouth with his hands, his legs nearly give from shock.  
It’s not just consternation over the contusions on Aureliano’s body. Clearly consistent with a fall. Nor how perfect it is. (And it's fucking superlative).   
His breath completely hitches when he circles around the chair and…  
  
Alberto rests quivering hands on the spot where two jutting shoulder blades have replaced angel wings.

_Angel. Wings._

He can’t believe it. The proof beneath the pads of his digits has obliterated what’s left of his wide-eyed innocence and yet…

“Oh mio Dio.” _Oh my God.  
_“Già,” _Yeah_ , Aureliano sighs, dark head tilted to the side so he can see Alberto better.  
“Fa male?” _Does it hurt?_   He asks in a hushed croak.  
“Il corpo… sì. Un po’. Sai… la caduta. Le cicatrici ora, no. Ma quando mi so’ state bruciate via…”  
_The body, yes. A little. You know, the fall. The scars, no. But when they were torched away…_

Aureliano doesn’t finish the sentence. Can’t. The recollection makes him wince and his windpipe closes.  
He’d never felt anything like it because Jesus Christ he’d _never felt anything before._ No physical pain. This… this was his baptism of fire. But he'd go through it on loop if it meant being able to love Spadino freely. 

Alberto’s lost his words. Looks down at him with mooningly worshipful eyes and Aureliano just grins. Grins with dazzling white teeth because he’s HAPPY. He can see the love pour over into Alberto. Alberto believes him. Soft squeezes on Alberto’s skinny arm beckon him near.   
  
He made it. He’s here with Spadino and Spadino believes him and not even the Devil himself can stop them now.  Raffa was right. They’re both going to make it.

Everything Alberto wants to say… these things called letters lining up to form words are just getting jumbled up, along with his emotions. There’s a tight knot in his throat.  
_Aureliano did this for me. ME.  
_How do you even repay a gesture like that? Can you ever?!

Aureliano is still getting used to being human. The sights, the sounds... Jesus _the smells_... it’s inebriating and let’s be honest… overwhelming.

What he truly didn’t expect was how viscerally he’d experience sentiment. Though he was susceptible to a degree of human emotion as an angel, as he gazes upon Alberto now, his little porcelain beauty, all the love he could muster washes over him like a winter wave. His chest tightens and his mind whirls.  
  
Aureliano realizes the affection he was feeling then was only a _fraction_ of what he’s capable of now.  
How do humans live like this?! Wait, he’s human now, too. No wonder people go crazy over love.

Aureliano continues to caress him. He’s enthralled and at the same time can’t keep from touching his love’s warm skin. The brushes are so gentle, like a flutter of butterfly wings... Its reminiscent of when his own pearly feathers would sweep against the tops of his shoulders as they’d open and close. It brings him that much closer to Spadino.  
Aureliano grasps his other hand, softly kisses his fingertips, and lays it on his right shoulder.

“N’te ferma’ Albe’, te prego.” _Don’t stop, Albe’. Please don’t stop_.  Spadino's attentions are addictive. 

He obeys and Aureliano nuzzles into the touch. Draws Alberto onto his lap as the other showers loving kisses along his scars with plump lips. Aureliano shivers, body covered in goosebumps. He presses his lips to the hollow of Alberto’s throat and whimpers.  
This is the first time his lips have touched Spadino’s flesh as himself.

They haven’t even truly kissed yet.

At the unexpected contact, Alberto slips up. He moans softly and in a moment of complete perdition allows the tip of his tongue to pass over Aureliano’s clavicle. Aureliano sucks in cold air through his teeth, throwing his head back. He lightly bucks into Spadino’s weight above.

 _Pleasure. Sexual arousal. So this is what it feels like. Jesus Christ._ This boy is making him disintegrate. Aureliano’s eager hands drag a line up the groove of Alberto’s smooth back, under his shirt. Fingers trail to where Spadino’s wings would be, if he had been born like him...  
The muscles give, slack under the kneading touch.

Alberto bites down hard on him with his gaze. He plays the wings that look like harps on the sides of Aureliano’s neck, still hot to the touch as they heal.  
“Perchè l’hai fatto Aurelia’?” _Why d’you do it, Aurelia’?_   he asks meekly.  
“Er tatuaggio? Pe’ ricordo. Di chi ero, prima.” _The tattoo? To remember. Who I used to be._  
Spadino cups his stubbly cheek. Lowers his head down so near they’re sharing the same exhale.

“No. Perchè l’hai fatto Aurelia’?” _No._ _Why d’you do it, Aurelia’?  
_There’s no hesitation. Not a second.  
“Perché ti amo. Pe’ sta con te..”  _Because I love you. I want to be with you._

Alberto fights the tears, a small gasp escaping his lips when Aureliano blinks up at him with teary eyes the size of two Neptunes.  
“Non c’era altra scelta, Spadi’. O te guardavo lentamente diventare vecchio… senza poterte amare in fondo. Poi quello m’avrebbe ammazzato. Un’eternità senza de te è un inferno Albe’. Preferisco ‘na vita co’ te che l’eternità pensando che potevo averte e t’ho perso così...”.    
_I had no choice, Albè. Or I watched you get old, without being able to fully love you. And that would have killed me. Eternity without you is hell, Albè. I’d rather have one lifetime with you than think I lost you like that._  
  
Spadino’s heart is pounding, no room against his ribs for the breath he’s holding. He comes to a halt just a hair from Aureliano’s tiny nose. Cradles his face, where a five o’ clock shadow has started to come in, rough against his palms.  
“ _Il paradiso_ , Aurelia’. Hai rinunciato _al paradiso_ per me?! Senza sape’ se avessi accettato o meno?” _Heaven. You gave up heaven for me? Without knowing if I loved you?_

Aureliano nods solemnly, gaze never faltering from Alberto’s. His body still aches from the fall but he’s never been happier, holding his one and only love in his arms.  
“Avrei voluto farte diventare n’angelo come me… ma non funziona cosi. E te sei già il mio angelo terrestre.” _I’d have wanted for you to become an angel like me. But it doesn’t work like that. And you’re already my Earth Angel._

  
Closing his eyes, Alberto summons a deep breath. He swallows it and looks blindly skyward.

“Io ti amo, Aurelia’. T’ho sempre amato. So’ tuo pe’ sempre, un’eternità nostra.”  
_I love you, Aurelià. I’ve always loved you. I’m yours for eternity, however long that is for us._

This is all Aureliano ever wanted. _This_.

His sigh is one of relief, which has been building _over the expanse of time_.

“Io avrei rischiato tutto pe’ te, Albe’. Pure la vita mia. Ma comunque ‘o sapevo. ‘O sapevo ogni volta ch’annavo via e a te ti si stringeva il petto. Che piangevi in doccia per non farti senti’ nè vede’. Pe’ quello. L’ho fatto pe’ te ma anche pe’ me… perchè non capivo più che mi succedeva ma ero certo di aver bisogno de starte vicino sempre. Perché d’ora in poi io voglio te. Te vojo regala’ solo sorrisi.”  
_I’d have risked it all for you, Albè. Even my life. But I knew. I knew every time I went away your heart hurt. That you cried in the shower so nobody would see or hear you. That’s why I did this for you but also for me. I couldn’t understand what was happening to me but I was sure I needed to be by your side always. From now on I want you. And I want to only give you smiles.  
_  
Aureliano desperately tries to keep his voice level but he can’t. Alberto shuts him up. Presses his lips to his with exquisite tenderness, worried the cut hurts.  
Initially it’s light and sweet as a summer breeze. Aureliano couldn’t imagine a kiss to be this velvety.  
Then he grows braver, craves more… nudging his tongue against Alberto’s slick lips. He likes the bit of pain there in the corner and to make Albè understand it's okay he tugs slightly on _his_ lower lip.  
He’s learning. This is the most instinctual thing in the world.  
  
Alberto smiles against him, pulling away before dipping back in, until he hungrily covers his mouth and lets his weight drop onto the growing hardness below.  
A hand rakes through Spadino’s mohawk. Spadino rolls his hips, grinding into Aureliano until they’re both making the softest little noises and taking air through their noses.  
  
“Te vojo,” _I want you_ , Aureliano breathes, the understanding of those words now pulsating down below.  
Spadino’s tongue sweeps Aureliano’s cheek, the heady sensation of lips against his freshly tattooed neck.  
“Prendimi,” he whispers into his ear.  _Take me._  
“Albè,” Aureliano sibiliates, squirming, “Albè...”  
Thoughts fragment as hands undo bindings and zippers. Alberto guides, but only for a while.  
  
  
“Questo è il paradiso.” _This is heaven_ , Aureliano thinks as he breaks some time later in the arms of his true love. Where he's always supposed to have been and now... where he'll always be.   
_This is heaven_. _Loving and being loved by you_. And nothing else matters.

**Author's Note:**

> I enjoy going off-canon and so this is my first for this fandom, but don't worry there are still a few more canon stories left in me. :)  
> The lyrics at the beginning are to "Fault Line," by The Rigs. A song I absolutely love.  
> Title from the Metallica song, obviously, of the same name suggested to me by my beta (and it didn't take much convincing. I love Metallica).  
> I played a little with angel lore, from Supernatural to ancient texts... from City of Angels to wiki searches. Just go with it. Shh... it'll be okay... shhh :)
> 
> Thank you to my bestie beta reader, harscrow. Her help (especially to tweak the Romanesco) was invaluable. There may have been a few last bits I added at the end so if I fucked those up I apologize, it wasn't her fault. Thanks sis.  
> This is a part of at least a two-part series called "Aureliano Has a Secret," the next one will be a canon-set story. Also lately Archive has been screwing up all my formatting so I don't know what's up with that but I apologize for the weird spacing but I only have so much patience with this editor. 
> 
> I want to thank all of you who read me, especially my cross-fandom followers. It means the absolute world to have your support! Having said that, and while my queer ass is feeling sappy... (he'll hate I'm doing this but he can deal), I want to dedicate this story to my boyfriend, my Silver Angel. It seems only fitting.  
> Sorry if I get diabetic a sec Aapeli, but I can't believe it was Suburra that brought us together, initially as fans and friends and then... love. You came into my life just when I needed you most. You're amazing my little aare. An inspiration in everything you do. I feel blessed to have you in my life. I love you mussu. Thanks for being there for me unconditionally. (And even if I don't dedicate EVERY story I write to you, :) you know that you're in my heart kirppu... so they're also kinda yours). <3 Rakastan sinua aina.


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